her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
