i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
