So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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