1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
