I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
