I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize