i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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