i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
