is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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