you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
