were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
