after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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