He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize