HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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