alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
