i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
