can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize