? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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