My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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