Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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