i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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