The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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