Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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