You're my little dorito
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
