dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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