Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
