drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
