Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i was born a porn star she said
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
