Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
