The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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