but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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