I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
