if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
