I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
