The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
