quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
