he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Who died my cat blue again?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
