i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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