Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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