You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
