dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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