I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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