Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
