Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
