letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
