what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
