Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
