I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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