She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just found puke in my bra..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
