Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
