So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
