The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
