Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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