Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
