Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
