Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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