i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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