We're like a lot better than the average bears
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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