just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
