Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
