I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it's like heaven, but drunker
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
