Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
