you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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