Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
