I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize