Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
