Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
