Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
