i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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