i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I intend to get homeless drunk
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
